Hey, I’m Robert. Forever learner, dog dad, growth nerd, and inclusive product leader. Welcome to a free edition of my newsletter. I am a very curious person by nature, and consider myself a student of life. I’m obsessed with self-improvement. Every week, I share 1 piece of advice, 1 breakthrough recommendation, and 1 challenge on topics close to my heart focused on personal growth, relationships, and careers. My words are meant for people who want to become the best versions of themselves as much as I do.
6 years ago, my engagement broke up.
My beloved dog Poppy was attacked at a dog park and passed away unexpectedly. I was dealing with many family health issues.
And I was launching my first product.
I was so heartbroken, overwhelmed, and exhausted from how heavy everything felt, but the relentless fighter in me just kept going without regard for my emotional and mental wellbeing.
Having put myself through college, I didn’t feel like I had the privilege to pause and take care of myself. At that point I was still learning what self-care really was.
I was afraid to admit to anybody I was struggling with juggling a ton of new responsibilities and personal hardship.
I was afraid to be vulnerable and be seen as weak. I was extremely scared and fearful of being a burden to those around me.
I was afraid if I admitted to my friends and colleagues what was going on with me personally, that I wouldn’t be accepted.
I finally did though after a lot of hesitation…
… And I was met with love.
Advice Of The Week: Healthy Vulnerability - Beware The Overshare
**Some **people are fine jumping into personal stuff right away, while **others **need more time to open up. What really matters is for you to always think about how it affects the other person - could this possibly be *triggering *for somebody to hear? Can they be *trusted *with this information about you?
Being vulnerable helps people connect, but oversharing can do the opposite - it can make both people uncomfortable. The listener might feel confused and unable to help. The person sharing can feel alone and unsupported.
The good news is, for most of us, we all have relationships “at the right level” for the thing you want to share and be vulnerable about.
- How long have I known this person, and how well do I know them?
- Have we shared personal information before, and how did they respond?
- Do I feel comfortable and safe when talking to this person about personal matters?
- Has this person shown that they can be trusted with sensitive information?
- Have we built a mutual understanding and respect for each other’s boundaries?
- Have they shared personal information with me, showing a level of reciprocity?
It’s a bit of a balance and over time you’ll be able to build that internal emotional compass to help you find that balance.
Breakthrough Recommendation: Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Why It’s Awesome:
**Always remember - we all have different comfort zones, so what’s okay for one person might not be for another.**This is where **empathy **and emotional intelligence comes in to help you figure this out.
My advice for you - think through some of these questions for healthy vulnerability:
When I was first starting to exercise my vulnerability muscle, I overshared a few times.
You have to assess whether your relationship is “at the right level”.
“Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown explains how being vulnerable can make you
My Favorite Quote:
I love this quote because it equates being vulnerable as being courageous. It really got me to think deeper on the concept of courageousness.
Actionable Takeaways:
- Develop resilience to inner shame by practicing empathy for yourself and others. When you feel shame, reach out to someone you trust and share your experience.
- Being a great leader means embracing vulnerability by showing up as your whole self and creating space for others to do the same. Listen empathetically to others without judgment, offering support and understanding.
Challenge: Share A Small Win
This week, ask someone in your community about a win they’ve had recently, and share your own. It could even be here in the comments of this newsletter!
It could be something small like sleeping more, eating well, getting a good workout, or finishing an assignment.
And it feels good too!
What I did this week***:**** *I texted a few close friends of mine and asked about their recent life and work wins. I heard some wins around being on top of their physical fitness and successfully shifting team strategy at work. I returned the favor by mentioning that I was able to get some time outdoors to fully recharge with a semi-treacherous but ultimately fulfilling hike which is one of the best ways to reduce stress.
*“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the ****courage ***to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.” - Brené BrownIf you really think about it - what is courage?
- Cultivate a sense of worthiness by practicing self-compassion and letting go of perfectionism. Engage in activities that bring joy and purpose to your life, and surround yourself with supportive people you can lean on.Is courage being fearless, or is courage taking action even when fear is present?
Make this a habit and you’ll find that your connections will deepen over time.
And here’s a picture of Poppy - I miss you buddy. You’ll always be in my heart.
I believe it’s the latter.
Thanks for reading!
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